Donor Story: M.M.

M.M. is a research student. She is interested in biology, mycology, genomics, and bioinformatics. M.M. loves to travel and experience new cultures, and enjoys drawing in her free time.

Can you start by telling me a bit about yourself, your background, where you’re calling from?
I am currently calling from Utah, which is where I’ve been going to school. I am a Bio-informatics major. I am currently looking for a new job. It’s been very difficult – I don’t know what’s going on in the world right now! But yeah I’m hoping to move, get out of Utah a little bit.

Yeah it’s a crazy job market right now so you’re not alone! So can you tell me a little bit about how and why you became an egg donor? Where did you hear about it and what prompted you to go through with it?
Yeah, I’d kind of always heard about it here and there growing up, and always thought that it would be something cool to do. But the reason why I really looked into it was I had a friend who did it and she said her experience went really well.

And also I have a wife, so we’re going to have to do something similar in the future, and so I thought that I would give back and sort of do something that I could do, instead of just hoping for someone to do the same for me.

That’s amazing and congratulations! So going into the donation process, or even just becoming an egg donor, was it something that you talked to your family or friends about it, and if so what was their reaction?
I didn’t talk to many people about it. Obviously I talked to my wife about it. But I only talked to my family about it when I was actually in the donation process, like I had been selected and was actually going to do it. They thought it was pretty cool, but I guess I didn’t talk to many people about it besides my very close people. But everyone was pretty supportive.

Ok good. Did you have any specific worries or concerns about becoming an egg donor or about any part of the egg donation process?
I guess I didn’t know how the procedure was going to go, like how painful it was. I was actually pretty surprised about that aspect… I guess I should’ve asked more questions! I didn’t have many concerns which I guess is why I didn’t ask many questions!

My biggest concern was how the procedure was going to go, but also I didn’t know how all the legal proceedings were going to go, and how that was going to be decided – like if it was going to be open or closed or whatever. So I asked a lot of questions on that.

What was the donation process like for you? How was the clinic that you went to?
The clinic was really nice. It was a pretty smooth process overall. Whenever I had questions, they were very detailed in answering me. The clinic was really nice.  

Ok good! And did you experience any physical side effects? Bloating or discomfort?
Yeah, not leading up to it – the shots didn’t affect me really at all, not that I can tell. But after the procedure I was in a lot of pain. But it wasn’t like cramps which is what they told me to expect – it was like sharp pain, and that lasted like two weeks. But I talked to a few people and then it went away and so it was fine!

Did the doctor prescribe you any medications, or how did you go about treating it?
Yeah, they prescribed me medicine, but it did not help at all. And they gave me a lot of medicine when I was at the clinic right after, which also didn’t help me at all. So I kind of stopped taking the medication and just powered through until it went away!

And did you go right back to your regular activities or work, or did you take some time off to recover?
No, I took more time off than I was expecting because it took me so long to recover. But my work was really good about it, so it wasn’t too bad.

Ok good. And can you remind me what kind of donation this was? Anonymous, semi-anonymous, open?
I guess technically it’s semi, but I’m not sure. What we decided on was if they do have a child and they decide they want to reach out, that I would have to respond at least once. It can go further than that, but at least once.

So after having gone through the process, are you thinking about donating again or do you think it’s kind of a one time thing?
I would donate again I think! And I have told them that I would donate again. I don’t know how soon I would donate again. I actually thought that I couldn’t donate for a whole year, but then when I asked they were like, “No, it’s like basically like two months and then you can donate again!” But yeah, I would do it again.

Ok, and also having gone through the process was there anything about the donation experience that surprised you? I know people have a lot of thoughts about egg donation and I wonder since you’ve done if there’s anything that people might think about it that’s not true in your experience.
Yeah, I did not know how many shots I would need! At the end I was taking three shots a day and I was like what the?? I did not know that it would be that much, which was difficult to get used to.

And also I didn’t expect to hear from the family. We’ve been communicating through email. And so I did not expect that all, and they have been very open in wanting to communicate and I am open to it too. So that’s been really nice. I think that’s nice for some people, but also maybe not nice for other people depending on what they want. But that also surprised me – I didn’t think I would ever talk to them.

Have they just been sort of updating you on the progress?
They had asked Lindsey if they could send me an email about who they are and just about their life, and I was like yeah! We had exchanged contact information with the legal stuff, so they knew who I was. And so I said that they could email me, and they just sent me an email about their life and who they are and everything. Then we’ve just been communicating since then.

Oh that’s really lovely!
Yeah!

So for you, what was the best thing about being an egg donor?
I think just that I can help. They seem really awesome and I’m just happy to let them grow their family so they can have a family. I’m looking forward to when someone can do that for me, and so I’m happy to be on the other end of that.

Totally! So in terms of compensation, is that something that you’re putting towards something specific or just kind of saving up?
Sort of just saving up. I think being in school I have not much savings, so I’ve just put everything into savings for the future.

And how did you find Intend specifically and how did you feel about working with Intend?
Great! Everyone was very communicative, everyone asked me lots of questions and any questions I had were answered very quickly. I didn’t have really any problems with the company at all.

Lastly, what advice do you have for someone who’s interested in becoming an egg donor?
I think to just ask as many questions as you can. Like anything that you can think of just ask and ask and really be prepared. The process went so quickly. Like I didn’t even know that anyone was interested in me, and then one day I get a text that says like “someone picked you!” and I was like what?! Like I had completely forgot that I even really signed up because it had been like a year and half/two years since I’d joined and it was just in the back of my mind. And then it was happening and I then was taking all the medicine and everything and then I think being prepared to give shots is intimidating.

I’d given my wife shots, so I’d given someone else them but I had never given myself, so it was very different to do! So I guess you can’t really prepare for those things, but asking questions is the biggest thing. I think anything that comes to mind is good to ask.

Note: this interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.