Today’s donor story is from Rachael. Rachael is a middle school English teacher; she has always wanted to help young people through teaching, and aspires to one day teach at […]
Today’s donor story is from Rachael. Rachael is a middle school English teacher; she has always wanted to help young people through teaching, and aspires to one day teach at the university level. Rachael also hopes to travel more, once she obtains her PhD.
So can you start by telling me a little bit about yourself, your background, where you’re calling from?
Yeah, so I currently live in Utah. I came out here from Virginia for college. After I graduated I got a job as a teacher, teaching 8th grade English in the area.
Oh very cool! And so can you tell me a little bit about how and why you became an egg donor? Where did you hear about it first, and what prompted you to go through with it?
I think I first saw it through like an Instagram ad – it was either and ad or like a post about a donor talking about their experience. And I was interested in becoming a donor because I’ve seen how infertility can affect some people – like I’ve had people in my community experience it. I know couples who want kids and can’t biologically have them together and they want – and have – taken advantage of the opportunities.
And I like believe in karma, and I don’t know if I want kids right now or in my future. So I’m thinking if I can do this for other people now, maybe if it’s too late for me in the future when I realize I want them, I can have access to help also through like people who are willing to donate.
That’s lovely. So going into the donation, or even just the application process, did you talk to your family or friends about it, and if so what was their reaction?
I did talk to my family and friends. Their responses were positive. The only concern I think anyone had was my mom; she’s so cute, she was like, “Oh my gosh! It’ll be like I have a little grandkid!” and I had to be like, “Not really, no!” We’re just sharing DNA – that’s totally different. But everyone was super supportive and I think that really helped in the process, like easing my anxieties about the whole thing.
Yeah good! And so did you have any specific worries or concerns about becoming an egg donor or about the process?
The only concern I had was with medications, like self-administering the shots – that was a little scary. But I had a video call with the nurse and she showed me how to do it and it was totally fine after that which was really nice! I think the side effects can sometimes freak people out, especially like the pain afterwards, and I didn’t have like any of that really.
Like the first day obviously yeah I had like bloating, cramps, constipation – but then after that first night it was fine as long as I like drank lots of water, used the heating pad. And I know that’s not true for everyone, but I felt well taken care of if that makes sense.
Good! I’m glad to hear that. So besides that, just overall how was the donation process like for you? How was the clinic that you went to?
Yeah [the clinic] was amazing. I had a great experience. The nurses were really nice and supportive. The first appointment I had they had to take like seven vials of blood and I almost passed out because that’s a lot of blood! But the nurse was amazing – she paused, let me take my time, like tried to keep talking to me so I didn’t pass out. So I think everyone there is very professional, they know what they’re doing, they’re really supportive, and it’s just a great environment.
Good! And you mentioned that you didn’t really have any physical side effects, so would you say that you kind of went back to your regular activities immediately after or did you take any time off after the retrieval?
So right after the retrieval, on like the same day, I went on like a nice little walk, an easy walk to kind of get my bearings. And then that night I stayed in bed, didn’t really do anything, I slept in. But then the day after around like three I was like pretty much fine, just a little bloated.
Ok cool! And can you remind me if this was a semi-anonymous, anonymous, open donation?
I think it’s semi-anonymous. Like we don’t know each other, but we communicate through third parties.
Yeah and going into being an egg donor, were you thinking “Oh I’m kind of open to any level of communication” or had you thought about it really?
I think going in – I don’t know it’s kind of a weird thing because on the one hand I’m like, I’m really excited for people and I’m like happy to be able to help or like be part of something. But also, it’s like I don’t want to like over-impose – like I know it’s their personal life, it’s their family. So I guess I was always open either way. Like if the intended parents wanted to meet or wanted to talk I’d be like really open and excited, but also if they don’t, totally respect that. I feel like I would prefer anonymous as well if I were doing it.
And going into the egg donation process, did you have any expectations and you know now having experienced it, was it as expected or was there anything that surprised you?
The only thing that I guess surprised me was the very beginning, like how much you had to know about your family. Like their medical histories, things that they have had. I just thought it was like me, my siblings, my parents, my grandparents. But then I also answered questions about all my dad’s siblings and my mom’s siblings, which was a little unexpected but easy to get the information, at least for me and my situation!
I think in terms of everything else though, it pretty much went as expected. I think [you guys] did a great job of explaining the process and I felt like I knew what was going to happen just like from all the meetings that we had had in the past.
And were you working with Lindsey as well?
Oh it was awesome! Lindsey is great! She answered every question I had – just email Lindsey: “Lindsey help I need help!” and then she would respond with answers. She’s amazing.
Ok great! And so looking back, what was the best part about being an egg donor for you?
Ohhh that’s a good question! I think… I guess for me it’s knowing that something I’ve done could actually make a difference. That’s like part of the reason why I went into teaching. It’s not a great job, but you can actually be in a position where you can give some comfort to people as they’re going through school, or you can help in some way, and I think being an egg donor really gives you that opportunity where you can give back to the world in a unique way. So I think that’s probably been my favorite part – being part of something bigger like that.
Great! And in terms of compensation, is that something that you’re putting towards something specific or just saving up?
I think right now I’m just saving up. I’m in a weird like – at 22 I have a full time job like with a degree, I’m getting my Master’s right now and I’m like I don’t know what to spend money on if I have money. I feel like I’m too young to invest, but that’s totally not true! So I’m just saving right now, maybe going to put it down for a down payment in the future.
Yeah! And lastly, what advice do you have for someone who’s interested in becoming an egg donor?
Ask a lot of questions. Like even if you feel like it’s dumb or unrelated, it’s better to ask the question that you have so your anxieties will be eased and you feel like you have the complete picture because everyone has some kind of answer. If they don’t, they know who to go to to get it. And I think that’s really important, especially because you want to be well-educated in the whole process and the side effects.
So if you ever have any concerns, just ask questions about it. Do a little research. I think that can really help put everything into perspective and weigh your options, because you always have a choice.
Throughout the whole process, I felt if I changed my mind I could, which was really nice. I feel like sometimes people rope you into things and are like, “You can’t leave you have to do this!” But being able to say like early on, before you sign the legal contract, “Hey, I’m not comfortable with this anymore, can I stop?” That was like comforting to know in the back of my head. So just like ask questions and know what you’re getting into.
That’s good advice. Do you have any other feedback that you’d like to share about working with AsiaWest or any part of the process?
I guess I’d just like to say it was amazing. I felt like super supported, super informed about how everything worked. So I think this is a really great agency and it’s been amazing working with you guys!
Note: this interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.