It’s been a while, but we have a new Donor Story! Today we are featuring Erica, a two-time donor from Texas. Erica has completed both an undergraduate and an advanced […]
It’s been a while, but we have a new Donor Story! Today we are featuring Erica, a two-time donor from Texas. Erica has completed both an undergraduate and an advanced degree, and works as a freelancer. She has done two open donations, and talks about her experience donating and meeting the intended families.
Can you tell me a little about yourself, your background, where you’re from?
Yeah! So, I’m from Atlanta, I grew up there. I moved away when I was eighteen for college, never really went back. So I spent like seven years in New England and then after that I was in Nashville most recently. I think I was in Nashville when I applied to be a donor and when I got into the database. And now I’m in Texas!
Oh cool! And can you tell me a little bit about how and why you decided to become an egg donor? Do you remember where you heard about it and what prompted you to go through with it?
I remember my boyfriend at the time – this was a few years ago, maybe five, six years ago at this point – he had a medical condition that wouldn’t allow him to have biological kids. So he disclosed that to me early on and we didn’t have kids together, but that was my first exposure with someone close to me who had infertility. I was looking up family-building options with that in mind, and sperm donation came up; it’s not the same as egg donation, but I was like, “Oh! This is a thing!”
And you know Facebook and Instagram know my every thought, so after I looked that kind of stuff up, I got a lot of egg donation ads and stuff on Facebook. I thought it looked interesting, but I didn’t go through with it at the time because I was using Depo-Provera as my birth control and you have to be off of it for a certain amount of time.* But then I was off of it and then got around to it.
Okay! And did you talk to family or friends about becoming a donor, and if so what was their reaction?
I only started telling family and friends after I got accepted and after I passed the physical screening for my first egg donation, just because if it didn’t work out I didn’t really want to talk to them about it.
But yeah, they were supportive for the most part. I think one of my friends was worried that it would mean that I couldn’t have kids in the future, which seems like a common reaction!
Yeah, I think a lot of people have that concern!
Yeah, I know that professionals still have to discover about egg donation but that’s not really how it works from what I understand!
My friend’s dad actually had a pretty funny reaction. My friend (anonymously) told him like “my friend is doing egg donation and she’s going to be paid this amount of money” and he was like “oh wow – how can I donate my eggs?!”
He’s like sign me up!
Yeah and I wasn’t expecting that because he was like pretty traditional and conservative!
That’s funny! So before becoming an egg donor did you have any specific worries or concerns about being an egg donor or any part of the process?
Not really. I don’t have a fear of needles, but it’s not my idea of a fun time. So I wasn’t thrilled about that part I guess, but not enough to deter me.
Yeah, ok. And so then now we can talk about your most recent donation, but you can also talk about your experience your first time donating. How was the donation process like? How was the clinic like that you went to?
I thought it was pretty smooth and seamless. My first donation we had to reschedule because I couldn’t take enough time off work. I went out of state for both donations, so it was more time off than maybe someone who is local. But yeah, I thought it was pretty smooth.
Ok good! Did you experience any kind of side effects – any discomfort or pain during any part of it?
So during stimulation I felt pretty normal. After surgery, I forgot to take pain medication so that I guess sucked until I remembered! But, the anesthesia lasts in your body for longer than the procedure itself, so I didn’t like feel anything for a few hours. But after I took like Tylenol or Ibuprofen it was fine.
Ok good. And did you pretty much go right back to your regular activities right after? Did you take some time off after the retrieval?
Yeah, I mean I didn’t have work right away more so just because of how my work schedule turned out. But I was like running errands and all that (right after).
Nice. And do you remember what form of contact you had? Were they both open donations, anonymous?
They were both open. The first one, the IP’s wanted open from the start and I was able to Zoom with them and meet with them in person. The second one I think started as semi-anonymous; they wanted me to go on the Donor Sibling Registry, but then it became open because I think they changed their mind. We didn’t get to meet in person, but we met over Zoom and just had a conversation.
And how was like to meet the intended parents? Both the in person and on Zoom?
It was really nice! I mean, I think that at the end of the day, all the IP’s are making a very big decision for themselves and their family, so I want to respect whatever boundaries they have. But it was really nice to put a name to a person and then put a face to the name.
Yeah, and I’m sure it was nice for them to do the same with you because I know they see your videos and photos, but it’s just so different talking with someone even just over Zoom.
Did you have any sort of expectations before going into the donation process, and was the experience as expected or did anything kind of surprise you about it?
I don’t know if I had any expectations going in. Surprises… I don’t think so? I don’t think I was particularly well informed or anything before starting, but once I was matched the clinic and AsiaWest helped me really understand what I was getting myself into.
And now looking back at the whole thing, what would you say was the best thing about being an egg donor for you?
So especially after I was able to meet both sets of IP’s, knowing that this is making a real difference in other people’s lives – well hopefully, because I don’t know if it’s going to work out! – but trying my best to do that, I think that was the best.
And are you thinking about donating again?
Yeah, I’d be open to donating again. I would prefer it – I would like to! I was a little worried because I was on the older side of first-time donors; I was 29 when I did my first donation. But I produced a good number of eggs and I also had pretty minimal side effects from both donations so I figure like why not, as long as I’m medically eligible.
Great! And how was working with AsiaWest?
I thought it was really good! I thought Lindsey and Lindsey were really responsive. I thought Delcie – when I first met with her after I filled out my application – I thought she was really helpful in explaining everything and answering any questions and setting expectations that she wanted me to have. I think everyone has been really responsive and really nice, so I really appreciate that.
Great, great. And in terms of compensation, is that something that you’re putting towards something specific or just kind of saving up?
I think it’s just saving up right now. I’m pretending like it doesn’t exist so I don’t blow it on something stupid!
I think that’s smart! Very wise. Okay one last question – if you were talking to someone else who was interested in becoming an egg donor, what advice would you have for them?
I would say… I think some people view it as like quick and easy money when it’s very much not the case! And I think a lot of people don’t realize the time commitment behind it, so I would make sure that they understand the time commitment.
And also I read the blog when I was looking into becoming a donor, and it seems like a substantial number of donors backed out after they got matched. Which, it’s really not for everyone so I’m not trying to pass judgment at all, but I just feel like that’s a disappointment and not the best case scenario for anyone, so I would try to make sure they understand what’s going to happen and what they’re up for and committing to.
*donors must be off Depo-Provera for at least three months before donating
Note: this interview has been edited and condensed for clarity, and the donor’s name has been changed for privacy.