Donor Story: Isla

Isla is a first-time donor, originally from the Philippines. She enjoys long distance cycling and watercolor painting. She is currently working on compiling some pictures and watercolor paintings for the intended family.

Do you mind telling me a bit about yourself, your background?
Yeah, so I recently moved here in the United States, less than two years ago. I got married to my Filipino boyfriend, but I was born and raised in the Philippines my whole life, so everything was new to me here.

I got my Bachelor’s degree in the Philippines when I was nineteen – I got like a business degree and it’s like a two-way course so I can actually teach and take the business route as well. I’m also into cycling – that’s how I met my husband, so we’re both cyclists. I used to do like local ultra-distant races in the Philippines, like off-road races, like 200 miles!

Oh!
Yeah, so I love doing that. I’m also fond of doing watercolor paintings. I cannot say that I’m doing well at it, but it’s something that helps me de-stress – it’s something that I want to do whenever I have spare time. So other than that, I also love to try different cuisines, I love to eat… So those are a few things about me that I could remember as of now!

I love that! I know, it’s hard to think of things on the spot, but it sounds like you have a lot of different interests which is cool! So I’m curious about how and why you became an egg donor? Where did you hear about it and what prompted you to go through with it?
I think I’ve been seeing a lot of ads on Instagram in general, but with AsiaWest I think I saw your ads on TikTok.

So you saw me probably!
I saw you, yeah! You’re like very famous! But yeah, so I saw the ads and I’m going to be honest with you, it says there that it’s something that will help you financially – it could give you the opportunity to travel as well. I love going to different places and learning about the culture, the history, and everything, but for me something that actually convinced me to do it was the rewarding part of like being able to help other people. Because I’ve heard stories of like not being able to conceive, and one of my high school teachers, she was telling us before that she’s been spending lots of money in order to conceive or get pregnant. But you could see how hard it is for them, being able to do that… so I think that’s one of the reasons why I was convinced to do it. If I have the means to help other people I would do it, and like the incentives, the travel part, is the bonus part.

Yeah that totally makes sense! And when you decided to apply, did you talk to your family or friends about it? If so, what was their reaction?
I think I only talked about it with my husband because, you know, he’s like the best person to speak with about it. At first he was hesitant about it, but I was letting him know about the all the process, about all the agreements, so when he started reading it and going through all of it, he was like, yeah I think it’s a safe process and it doesn’t involve both our names – like we could be anonymous for this.

And yeah, I was telling him before that it’s a mutual agreement. We don’t want to have kids right now – it’s hard with this economy – so we’re like if we go through with this process, we’re helping someone out who is desperate to have on, and if you have the means to do it, why not do it? And like the incentives you get out of it, it’s something that we could do save for our future. That way, if we decide to have kids of our own, then we would be like stable in all aspects.

Yeah, and that kind of convinced him to go forward?
Mmhmm, yeah!

So before becoming an egg donor, did you have any specific worries or concerns about it or about any part of the process?
I think what worried me the most – I’m not sure if I’m being dramatic or emotional about it – but I worried like what if I gave my eggs and then there would be a baby that would be born and if that baby would grow in the future, what if that baby would be going to irresponsible parents? I think that’s one of the worries about me doing it, because while I’m not taking care of that baby, I don’t want him or her to grow up being deprived or like not having all the resources that he or she needs, or like what if he or she is not in good hands.

And also like the pain – I think I was worrying about it like is it gonna be painful?

Yeah! And did you get to talk about that stuff with Delcie a little bit before going through? Did she help kind of alleviate some of these concerns?
Yes, she was able to attend all of those concerns with me. She’s very helpful!

Ok good! So then how was the donation process like? How was the clinic that you went to?
It was a great experience. The moment I stepped in, I was welcomed by the staff, I was helped. I only waited for like less than three minutes before I was called to do the procedures for like the tests or like the blood draw. So it was actually a nice experience. Everyone was so welcoming and they are very warm, which actually for me is important if you’re going through like a long process. And they were also able to let me know about the next steps, after one step to another. 

So I was very informed and aware about what will happen next or what are the things I should be expecting, especially with all the medicine and the pain – stuff like that. Which for me, is very important because you’re doing a lot of processes and you have to condition your mind to at least know what to expect. So yeah, they were very helpful!

Ok that’s good to hear! Did you experience any kind of discomfort or side effects, either when you were on medication or after the retrieval?
I think when I was doing the birth control pills, that I was having breakouts on my face which is not normal for me. I do have like acne, but not to that extent. I was like breaking out. I also had small acne-like bumps on my stomach by the time I was taking the pills, but it was during the first week of doing that – I think it’s because there’s like this sudden change in the hormones so I think that’s the reason why.

When I told Lindsey about it, she was able to help provide me some alternatives about the like medications if I’m feeling discomfort about it, or like I’m having discomfort about the birth control pills. I was communicating with her about it and she was very responsive – so we both agreed that after two weeks let me just see if this thing will continue or not. If not, I’ll just take the birth control pills. But if the side effects persist, I will switch. But yeah, she was able to help me with that.

But you were also asking about post retrieval?

Yeah, just about how you felt post-retrieval.
For me, the only thing that I was like having a hard time was like the first day after post-retrieval. It was hard to move obviously because of the operation, because of the procedure. It was hard for me to urinate the first time, but I tried hydrating myself and that helped me a lot. I was also having a hard time at first pooping.

Oh yeah that will happen!
Yeah! So they told me about the medicines that I should be taking for that and actually those things helped me a lot. And the other thing was that there was this sharp, stabbing feeling when I moved and it was like very, very hard to move. For a moment, I felt like it was hard for me to breathe because of that sharp, stabbing feeling. But on the second day I was able to move freely, so yeah it was only hard for the first day! I was expecting for it to last for like three days, but no.

Ok yeah! Everyone’s different, and it’s common to feel some discomfort, but I’m glad that you got the medications you needed and that kind of thing. So looking back on the experience, did you have any expectations going in and was the experience what you thought it would be, or did anything surprise you?
I actually don’t have expectations for this, just because it’s my first time. I was saying to Delcie that AsiaWest was able to set a high standard for me, because it’s my first time doing this. You guys were setting the standard on what the process should be like, what the coordinator and everyone should be like throughout the process. So yeah, I don’t have any expectations about it, but my overall experience was great.

I did not realize that it was going to be a long process – I mean I was able to see the timeline for this, but I did not expect it to be this long. I’m not complaining about it! I was just saying that it takes a lot of time.

Definitely! And so for you, what was the best part about being an egg donor?
It’s the rewarding feeling of being able to make other families happy.

Yeah that’s great. And in terms of compensation, is that something that you’re putting towards something specific, or are you just kind of saving it up?
So a part of it I was saving, a part of it went for my sisters in the Philippines. I made a huge payment for their tuition for their school because – that’s one thing that I was telling my husband as well even before I started doing this – that if ever I get to be accepted for this, I will save the money and then part of it would be going to my sisters for their school.

Oh that’s so lovely! That’s so great that you were able to do that. And are you thinking about donating again?
I’m very open to doing the process again, especially now that I know how things work and what to expect. I was thinking about it this morning – I realized that it’s something that’s not for faint-hearted people, because it’s a lot, especially when you’re doing the process yourself. I was telling Lindsey before, that I was like so scared of doing the injections by myself, so yeah doing it for me was also like conquering my fears as well.

But yeah now that I know all the processes, I think I would be open to doing it again. I just need some time to rest! But then I’d be very open to doing it again.

Ok awesome. And I know you already talked about this a little, but how was working with AsiaWest? Delcie, Lindsey, the whole team – was it good?
It’s not good – it’s great. It’s like the best that I could ever ask for. Like I said, it’s my first time and I don’t know what to expect. I told Delcie before that I used to speak with [someone] working with one of the fertility centers in LA – by the time I sent my information to her, I wasn’t receiving any response from her end, so for me I was like she’s just keeping me hanging there. I know it’s not easy to get matched, but at least let me know about the process that I’m in right now so I know what to expect!

But with Delcie, she was very responsive. She’s like letting me know all the things she’s doing – that way I know what to expect and I know the wait time for everything. And with Lindsey, I was introduced to her as well, and Lindsey is like very, very great. She’s the best. She’s very responsive – she was like if you have any emergency questions or issues or concerns, here’s my mobile number, you can reach out to me! And that is something that I really do appreciate, because it’s like having a help line 24/7. Just in case something went wrong, that you have a support person, and I think that’s very important. You have all the support you need.

Yeah, it was the best. Even post-retrieval, they were asking me how I’m doing. Even Delcie was telling me, “I’m going to send a small gift” in order to help me recover faster, and I really do appreciate that. You guys are the best!

That’s great to hear! Yeah, we know that it can be kind of an intimidating thing to do for the first time, so I’m glad that you felt comfortable with us. The last thing that I want to ask, is if you had any advice for someone who was interested in becoming an egg donor?
My advice would be, think about it first. Know your purpose in doing this, and if you get to decide if you want to donate in the future, I’d say you just have to be strong and listen to all of the things that they will be giving you, all of the instructions that they will be giving you because it’s very important and it will help you a lot. All throughout the process from the screening to the post-retrieval, listening to all of the things that the coordinator will tell you will help a lot.

And also it feels different when you are doing the process. It feels so rewarding! And it’s going to make you emotional, but yeah really rewarding.

Any last feedback?
I just want to say that I am really grateful, really thankful with AsiaWest helping me throughout the process. And like what I said, if I’m going to do it in the future, I’d rather do it again with you guys because you guys are the best.

Note: this interview has been edited and condensed for clarity. The donor’s name has been changed for privacy.